Liquid Crystal
by Hikari-Yoru
Summary: He looked up, watching the now grey clouds deliver drops of liquid crystal to the world below. What a way to show the echo of the emotions he was feeling inside him now, since his tears were long gone by now. One-shot.


A/N: _Hi! Yoru here! Today, I'll bring you an one-shot about Lavi, 'cause I felt like writing about him. Hope you like it, and review!_

Disclaimer: _I don't own -man._

_**IMPORTANT NOTICE: **__For those who are following my sister's fic, 'Heart Tainted Black':  
My sis is currently on vacations in Spain (I envy her… I'm in the middle of my exams…) and she won't be back 'till august 14__th__. So be patient, she won't be able to update until then. Don't worry, I've read almost all the next chapter and it's really good, so the wait will be rewarded._

_Kim Lexis  
_

_1887-1894_

_A young and vibrant child, whose soul was never touched by the color black_

Lavi stared at the words engraved in the solid rock of the tombstone. When Komui said his mission was to that village, at first he couldn't believe it. All the way there, he had thought it was some kind of mistake; maybe Komui got confused, or Lavi heard it wrong or something… So when the train arrived at the only station of the vicinity, he still wasn't prepared to face it.

_Kim! Dinner!_

_The child looked at his mother, a bright smile on his face. –Going, mom! –he yelled back, running to the kitchen with all the strength of his five-year old legs. He practically jumped to the chair, grabbing the fork and knife and smashing them into the table repeatedly to show his hunger._

_-Oi, keep doing that and you'll break the table._

_The kid turned, smiling even more at the almost teenager that was entering the room._

_-Tables don't break that easily, or you would have already break it with the tons of books you put in here, niisan –he said, sticking his tongue out._

_His brother shrugged, sitting next to the hyperactive kid. –Gotta give that one to you._

Lavi smiled a little as he recalled the memory. Yep, what a kid… noisy, hyper, and, what was more important, _happy_. Always looking up to his older brother. Lavi knew that story better than anyone alive; at two, learns to read; at four, to write perfectly; at seven, able to read any book that was put in front of him, from fairytales to the most advanced math textbook; at ten, able to understand and memorize with amazing accuracy everything that he read; at twelve, bur-

-There you are, baka usagi! The heck are you doing here!

Lavi quickly put one of his most convincing fake smiles, turning to face his companion. –Yuu! You have been looking for me?

The dark haired exorcist instantly twitched at the mention of his name, a murderous aura coming from him. –Say that name again and I'll make sure you get a place somewhere around here ready to use –he threatened, hand over the hilt of his sword-like Innocence.

-Sorry, sorry, no need to get all mad –the red-haired said, hands raised in front of him in a defensive manner.

-Whatever. Moyashi has already booked a room. If you're not there in five minutes, I'll bring your dead body back and put your head in a stick at the entrance.

Lavi sweatdropped. The worst part was that Kanda was completely capable of doing so.

-Oks, understood, I like my head the way it is now! –He said, backing off a little with a nervous smile.

-Che. Just remember: five minutes.

Kanda glared at him one last time to make his point clear and stormed out of the graveyard. Lavi sighed, letting his smile drop out of his face. Five minutes, huh? He directed his gaze at the tombstone again, recalling those long forgotten memories, remembering how it had been before…

_-Niisan! Niisan! You're home early!_

_The older brother smiled, hugging the young one tightly. –Yep, I finished early –he said, ruffling his sibling's hair, the same color as his-. Oh! But that's not the best part. Come, I'll tell you at dinner!_

_-Whaaaaat? No fair! If it's something interesting, tell me now! –the kid pouted, tugging his brother's vibrant red hair._

_-Ouch! Kim! Stop it, that hurts! You're gonna leave me bald just like dad!_

_-Bald like who?_

_The kids stopped their little fight and turned, watching a man entering the small house._

_-Bald alert! –screamed the kid, raising his arms and running all around the house._

_His brother sweatdropped, watching Kim trip on his way to the stairs just to get up and continue running and yelling as if nothing happened._

_-Where does that kid get his energy from?_

Lavi laughed a little. Such carelessness, such energy…

That was the day that would mark him… no, both of them, for the rest of their life.

_-So, lady, gentleman and brat…_

_-I'm not a brat!_

_-… I'm honored to introduce you –his brother continued without paying him attention-, to the one and only Bookman!_

_He clapped and made whistling sounds while an elderly man entered the house, an air of seriousness and dignity around him._

_-That guy is the oh-so-famous Bookman you haven't stopped talking about for the past three hours, niisan? –Kim asked, tilting his head._

_-Yep! And, besides, he wa-_

_Suddenly, with an energy and agility they never knew old age could posses, Bookman jumped and hit the annoying redhead in the head with enough force to send him to the ground._

_-OW!_

_-You deserved it, idiot, for not knowing when exactly to shut your mouth –Bookman said, dusting his cloak off._

The day Bookman was introduced to his family… The beginning of the end, if he was to be dramatic… Lavi sighed, letting his eye close.

_-You posses a talent that sets you apart, making you a good candidate to be my apprentice. However, you must always remember the more important rule of a Bookman; we do not have ties. Bookmen must record everything objectively. Wars, important events, inventions, weapons, technology… all must be recorded without sympathy for one side or the other. You must kill your heart if you wish to follow this path. But, in doing so, you'll have the opportunity of seeing what no one else has seen; the hidden part of the history, only known to those directly involved with it… and the one recording it. I will not force you, young child. The decision is yours to make._

That was basically all it got to convince him. He knew that it would hurt to cut ties with everyone, with his family, with that little kid… but the tentative of knowing what no one else did was far too great to consider the consequences. Even now, he didn't regret his choice.

Even when he had been forced to kill that kid.

Something cold and wet splashed his face. He looked up, watching the now grey clouds deliver drops of liquid crystal to the world below. What a way to show the echo of the emotions he was feeling inside him now, since his tears were long gone by now.

They all dried up that day…

_-Niisan! Niisan! NIISAN, ANSWER ME!_

_He could hear the yells surrounding him, while the house -his house- collapsed all around him, the damaged structure not being able to stand the tongues of fire that were devouring it from the inside._

_-KIM! Don't come, the fire is spreading too quickly! GET OUT OF HERE!_

_-I won't go without you!_

_-GO AWAY!_

_The shout resounded in the walls, that enough to break apart more pieces of the ceiling, which fell burning to the ground. He couldn't hold back his tears; his voice was going raw from screaming that much, his ears straining to hear the words his brother screamed back._

_-I said I won't! I won't leave my brother here!_

_-Dammit, Kim! WE'RE NOT EVEN BLOOD BROTHERS! So get the heck outta here!_

_-But… Niisan…!_

_-Didn't you hear what I said! Stop calling me that!_

_-Niisan!_

_-I NEVER THOUGHT OF YOU AS A REAL BROTHER! SO SCRAM ALREADY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!_

He knew now that lie had to be said. After all, older brothers had the duty of protecting their younger siblings. Even if the truth about the bonds they shared was revealed in such a manner. But how it had hurt at that moment… as if he was being torn apart, even when he knew it was a lie…

He sighed, noticing his hair was already completely wet and sticking to the sides of his face. He guessed Kanda would scold him later for soaking the whole room while Allen would try to get him to the bathroom to dry him up, so Kanda would yell at Allen instead, Allen would shot back and both of them would end up fighting with Lavi in the middle.

He checked his hammer was still in place, ready to grow and separate the two of them if his prediction was right. His fingertips brushed against the little and seemingly inoffensive Innocence, caressing it absentmindedly while he lost track of his thoughts again, letting them lead him to the start of his ongoing journey…

_He screamed and screamed, hands clutching his head, knees on the ground, mind not wanting to accept the undeniable facts._

_They were all dead. Even his brother couldn't get out. Remembering the last words that were said, sadness like none he had ever believed possible found its way to his young heart, twisting it, hurting it, making him believe it was bleeding to death._

_-So you survived, young child…_

_He barely registered Bookman's words, turning slowly to face him, tears falling like never-ending waterfalls, soaking the charred ground of what used to be the garden._

_He had no ties now. Even when the pain was fresh, he knew what to do. He followed Bookman's plan, feigning he died along the ones he loved the most. Traveling mostly at night, staying at inns at day, always hiding for the first year, while Bookman taught him the abilities and knowledge he'd require to start the real training as a Bookman. Then, he deemed it safe to stop the game of hide-and-seek, and his first false name was given to him while they went to record their first war together._

It had been the life he had always dreamed of. No ties, no boundaries, no limits to the knowledge he was allowed to posses. No conflicting emotions or regrets.

If he could go back in time, he would only change one thing; he'd have wanted to say goodbye to his family. To tell them how much he wanted to follow Bookman, to learn from him, to pass him one day. His father would have told him to follow his dreams, to be sure they would be all waiting for him. His mother would have cried, hugging him tightly, telling him to write at least once a month.

His brother would have smiled from the bottom of his heart, and he would have told him how proud he was.

He put his hand on the tombstone, letting the flow of memories end there. He would have no need for them in the future. So, with one last glance at the name engraved forever in solid rock, he turned and start walking out of the graveyard, toward his companions, toward the future he had chosen.

As Lavi was going through the entrance gates, a light breeze flew by. It blew past him, messing his hair, and continued its way to the graveyard, to the tomb, carrying with it the last drops of rain and the last words Lavi muttered before leaving.

-Goodbye, original self.


End file.
